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Posts Tagged ‘Balance’
Posted on Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
Tags: Awareness, Balance, Body / Mind, Change, Coaching, Communication, Discovery, Language, Listening, Perception, Relationship
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Discovery, Language, Listening, Relationship
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 My friend and colleague, Wendy Watrous Smith, is an attorney in the South Bay who specializes in commercial insolvency and litigation. Over the past several months, we have been discussing how language is used in the legal profession and how that language use impacts who we become as professionals, how we see the world, how we interact with others, and how we impair our our development and creative insights. Wendy decided to take the proverbial “bull by the horns” and join me in writing to the legal industry by contributing to the Daily Journal, the State’s premier daily legal publication. Here is her first column, which was published in the May 4 edition. Profanity is certainly an eye catching opener for beginning a conversation on language. It pertains to us all – lawyers and non-lawyers alike. Thank you, Wendy, for making your voice heard.
I went to a pre-trial settlement conference recently for one of those cases that should have settled long ago. I stepped into the case hoping to resolve it quickly. The local attorney called us into the airless jury room set aside by the court for mediation, and started speaking with the foulest language. This was not just your everyday version of cursing that most of us hear as attorneys, but sounded like something from the “Sopranos.” He wasn’t angry, but was describing his disgust at a particularly difficult party for not making a settlement offer. Keep Reading »
Posted on Wednesday, April 25th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Death, Discovery, Happiness, Healing, Listening, Money, Neuroscience, Perception, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Death & Dying, Discovery, Happiness, Healing, Hope, Legacy, Listening, Money, Neuroscience, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
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 My friend, Frank Yatsu, M.D., died shortly before a 5000 doctors survey conducted by The Doctors Company, the nation’s largest physician and surgeon medical liability insurer, revealed that 9 out of 10 of the country’s physicians are unwilling to recommend the profession to others. Frank, an emeritus UT Professor of Neurology and former Department Chair, and I had intended to write an article for a medical journal career on job dissatisfaction in medicine.Don’t Wait A startling 43% of surveyed physicians further declared that they are contemplating retirement as result of “transformative changes” in health care system, which will only exacerbate the existing physician shortage. That’s is not great news, as the federal Affordable Care Act adds an additional 32 million Americans into the healthcare system by 2014. Keep Reading »
Posted on Thursday, April 19th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, ATONEMENT, Awareness, Balance, Body / Mind, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Death, Discovery, Forgiveness, Generosity, Happiness, Kindness, Listening, Love, Making Amends, Narrative, Perception, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Curiosity, Death & Dying, Discovery, Elders, Forgiveness, Generosity, Happiness, Kindness, Listening, Love, Narrative, Optimism, Perception, Purpose, Relationship
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 I sat with a young colleague the other evening who was bemoaning his fate as he crossed into his mid forties. He couldn’t carouse as he used to. He was losing muscle mass and stamina. His hairline was receding. Some of the early ticks of memory were beginning to show. He wasn’t sure how he could keep up with his youthful expectations at the rate of decline that he was experiencing. He turned to me and asked, “How do you continue to do it at your age?”
I was glad that he asked. This is what I told him:
I can’t tell you what a blessing it is to mature! I get up every morning with gratitude for the fact that I am still here. I love and am loved by my family and a few friends. I am privileged to do work that I love. I am not pursuing anything that is not consistent with my constantly evolving sense of my life’s purpose. I continue to evolve the manner in which I practice law to bring a more refined and subtle integrity to what I do, serving my clients while creating the most abundant outcomes for all parties involved. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Empathy, Fear, Happiness, Healing, Listening, Love, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Compassion, Curiosity, Death & Dying, Discovery, Empathy, Fear, Happiness, Healing, Hope, Kindness, Legacy, Listening, Love, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
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 I was forwarded, by one of you, an article from a British newspaper on the forthcoming publication of a book by Bronnie Ware entitled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed. While I only just have ordered the book, I thought that its themes, as described in The Guardian article, were worthy of discussion now. Ware had served as a palliative care nurse in Australia, caring for patients at the end of their lives. She had collected their end of life observations and written about them at her Inspiration and Chai blog. Much as I have observed, Ware began to see common themes and extraordinary wisdom that seems to blossom in people as their lives draw to a close. Interestingly, Ware heard about “regrets,” a topic not as common to me in my work. But she recorded the end of life epiphanies as a lesson plan for the living and moved from blogging into authoring her book. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Exercises, Perception, Relationship, Rest, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Curiosity, Discovery, Elders, Happiness, Perception, Relationship
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 I woke up Saturday morning a little bummed. I had noticed that in recent weeks I had felt out of sorts. It wasn’t a bad mood. It was more of a sense of being perpetually “jammed.” So I am a coach. I listen to the plight of others, attempting to foster in my clients new perspectives which allow them to overcome their difficulties. Maybe I could apply a little coaching to myself. The practice that I often use in assisting clients to gain a new or broader perspective is called “self observation.” It consists of monitoring your behaviors, thoughts, and emotions to see exactly what gives rise to sense of being “stuck.” Keep Reading »
Posted on Thursday, February 23rd, 2012
Tags: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Discovery, Happiness, Money, Neuroscience, Perception, Relationship, Spaciousness, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Discovery, Money, Neuroscience, Purpose, Relationship, Spaciousness, Transition
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 If you have been following my writing for any appreciable period, you will see that one of the foundational elements of fulfilled living is awareness. I sometimes referred to it as spacious awareness, to emphasize that you frequently underestimate how profound awareness can be and how, once you have the opportunity to plumb its depths, awareness can begin to change your life. Look at the subjects we have covered in recent months – parenting, forgiveness, atonement, learning disabilities, listening and storytelling. All provide the opportunity for richer and more engaged lives. But all rest on the foundation that you are sufficiently aware of yourself, the parties with whom you are engaging and the environment you inhabit in order to produce positive outcomes. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
Tags: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Discovery, Perception, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Discovery, Happiness, Perception, Purpose, Relationship
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 I am one of those folks who likes to stay really busy. And, for the most part, it works very well. My life is “balanced” because I make room for what is important to me, do that first, then get to the rest, as time allows. But every once in a while, my system breaks down. I saw it coming a few weeks back, as I readied for my winter vacation in Crested Butte, Colorado, which begins shortly. Due to circumstances well beyond my control, I was concurrently negotiating a series of agreements for one of my most valued clients; preparing for the merger of my law firm into a larger national firm as of March 1, 2012; trying to sell my parents home as the co-trustee of my father’s estate; renegotiating three leases on the estate’s commercial property; refining the book outline for my next book, which will be co-authored with my wife, Nancy; preparing my next monthly Daily Journal column; and researching and writing my twice-weekly blog posts, all while trying to keep up with the homework in a year-long professional speaking program conducted by the National Speakers Association. Whew! And, sorry for that extraordinarily long sentence. Keep Reading »
Posted on Friday, January 27th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Balance, Body / Mind, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Generosity, Happiness, Love, Meditation, Perception, Purpose, Relationship
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Generosity, Happiness, Love, Perception, Relationship, Uncategorized
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 Somatic intelligence refers to your ability to observe what is happening in your body. Furthermore, it includes your ability to include what your body is telling you into your understanding of what is happening in the moment and how best to respond to it. This intelligence may reveal something very different about what’s happening (alternative perceptions) and appropriate responses to them than either your intellect or your emotions. By the end of this conversation, I hope you come to see how important this intelligence is in contributing to your parenting efforts.
I want to separate out somatic intelligence from certain human habits or manifestations, which may appear to reflect somatic intelligence but do not. First, there are those who are impeccably dressed and coiffed, based on an understanding that appearance creates a favorable impression on others. This may be accompanied by practiced body movements, voice training and demeanor reinforcing that initial impression. Second are the bodybuilders whose every muscle has been driven, with or without chemical assistance, to optimal massing. Third are the indefatigable trainees, ceaselessly running, biking, swimming, climbing, rowing and so on. If you’ll note, each of the above seeks to develop the body for some particular manifestation or outcome. That may, or may not, include understanding of body, its temperament,well-being and status for their own sakes. I was once coaching an individual who ran long distances on a regular basis, but used the running time to “solve” work and personal problems. I asked him whether or not he occasionally fell owing to the distraction of his problem-solving. He admitted, with some embarrassment, that he frequently did, tripping over objects, changes in elevation or his own feet. His body was on autopilot and clearly not the subject of awareness. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, January 17th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Balance, Body / Mind, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Generosity, Happiness, Perception, Relationship, Spirituality, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Generosity, Happiness, Love, Perception, Relationship, Transition
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 I left the last post with the observation, “Become aware of who you are, because ‘who you are’ is what you give to your child.”
There was a time when I used to “bet” my wife, Nancy, when we used to accompany our children to various “kid parties,” like birthdays, school events and the like, that I could spot the children of lawyers, simply by the way they conducted themselves. I was a bit full of myself then and, in the last decade or so, I have been taught quite a bit about the complexity of our species and its behaviors. But I did experience some rather uncanny results. Nancy was the primary caregiver, so I didn’t know many of the children. But, at any particular gathering, I might spot some engaged child, focus on him/her for a few minutes, declare my conclusion to Nancy, that this child was parented by a lawyer, and voilĂ , my conclusion would be confirmed. This wasn’t as insightful as you may think. Many of the parents at our children’ a school were lawyers. Certainly not all, or even a vast majority. But I would guess that of all parenting couples, probably 20 to 25% had one parent in the legal profession. So what was it that I was seeing that led me to these conclusions? And, what difference did it make that I could make such an assessment? Keep Reading »
Posted on Thursday, July 28th, 2011
Tags: Awareness, Balance, Body / Mind, Change, Discovery, Happiness, Perception, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Discovery, Happiness, Perception, Relationship
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 In her book, Positivity, Barbara Fredrickson maintains that “positivity can change your life.” And those changes can make your life more fulfilling. From her studies, Fredrickson has witnessed and documented that positivity helps you grow psychologically, mentally, socially and physically. People, who experience more positivity in their lives, grow psychologically by becoming more optimistic, resilient, open, accepting and driven by purpose. They grow cognitively by becoming more present to the moment, allowing for more appreciation of what is going on around them. They also build enduring mental habits of openness, allowing for more thoughtful consideration of ways to procure outcomes, leading to greater collaboration and creativity. Socially, those living in greater positivity are energized, making them more attractive. That attraction leads to the creation of more and better personal relationships. They share their positivity with others, leading to the creation of a greater sense of community and a stronger social fabric. Positivity also has been shown to affect biological markers of health such as lower blood pressure, less pain, fewer colds, and better sleep. People with high positivity also have a lower risk of disease and are less likely to have hypertension, diabetes or likelihood of stroke. In other words, positivity predicts greater longevity. Keep Reading »
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My friend and colleague, Wendy Watrous Smith, is an attorney in the South Bay who specializes in commercial insolvency and litigation. Over the past several months, we have been discussing how language is used in the legal profession and how that language use impacts who we become as professionals, how we see the world, how we interact with others, and how we impair our our development and creative insights. Wendy decided to take the proverbial “bull by the horns” and join me in writing to the legal industry by contributing to the Daily Journal, the State’s premier daily legal publication. Here is her first column, which was published in the May 4 edition. Profanity is certainly an eye catching opener for beginning a conversation on language. It pertains to us all – lawyers and non-lawyers alike. Thank you, Wendy, for making your voice heard.
