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Posts Tagged ‘Change’
Posted on Thursday, May 17th, 2012
Tags: Awareness, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Legacy, Narrative, Perception, Purpose, Relationship
Categories: Awareness, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Curiosity, Discovery, Legacy, Narrative, Perception, Purpose, Relationship
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 I had sandwiched the reading of George Lakoff’s Don’t Think Of An Elephant!/ How Democrats And Progressives Can Win: Know Your Values And Frame The Debate, between the reading of two recently published and very compelling books. The first, by Catherine Cain, is entitled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can\’t Stop Talking. Cain maintains that at least one third of the people we know are introverts. But, as Cain thoughtfully argues, introverts often find themselves as strangers in a strange land as they attempt to reside in a 21st-century culture framed by the Extrovert Ideal – “the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha and comfortable in the spotlight.” In this frame, there’s a preference for action over contemplation, risk taking over prudence, certainty over doubt. It favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. In the Extrovert Ideal, introverts are second-class citizens, exceptions to the rule. The second book, by Charles Duhigg, is the The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Here, Duhigg tells the intriguing story of why habits exist and how they can be changed. In so doing, he advances a fresh perspective on human nature and its potential for transformation.
What the two books share, which also ties them to the Lakoff frame structure that we last discussed (It Begins With The Words), is the use of Rosa Parks as an icon to represent their respective frames. In Quiet’s chapter on “The Myth of Charismatic Leadership,” Cain observes, “Parks’ actions that day were brave and singular, but it was in the legal fallout that her quiet strength truly shown… [B]ecause of her nature, Parks was the perfect plaintiff not only because she was a devout Christian, not only because she was an upstanding citizen, but also because she was gentle…[I]t was Parks quiet strength that made her unassailable.” Cain concludes that the “Parks story is a vivid reminder that we have been graced with the limelight-avoiding leaders throughout history.” Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, May 15th, 2012
Tags: Awareness, Balance, Body / Mind, Change, Coaching, Communication, Discovery, Language, Listening, Perception, Relationship
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Discovery, Language, Listening, Relationship
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 My friend and colleague, Wendy Watrous Smith, is an attorney in the South Bay who specializes in commercial insolvency and litigation. Over the past several months, we have been discussing how language is used in the legal profession and how that language use impacts who we become as professionals, how we see the world, how we interact with others, and how we impair our our development and creative insights. Wendy decided to take the proverbial “bull by the horns” and join me in writing to the legal industry by contributing to the Daily Journal, the State’s premier daily legal publication. Here is her first column, which was published in the May 4 edition. Profanity is certainly an eye catching opener for beginning a conversation on language. It pertains to us all – lawyers and non-lawyers alike. Thank you, Wendy, for making your voice heard.
I went to a pre-trial settlement conference recently for one of those cases that should have settled long ago. I stepped into the case hoping to resolve it quickly. The local attorney called us into the airless jury room set aside by the court for mediation, and started speaking with the foulest language. This was not just your everyday version of cursing that most of us hear as attorneys, but sounded like something from the “Sopranos.” He wasn’t angry, but was describing his disgust at a particularly difficult party for not making a settlement offer. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, May 8th, 2012
Tags: and him and, Awareness, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery
Categories: Awareness, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Curiosity, Discovery
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 I recently reread George Lakoff’s 2004 bestseller, Don’t Think of an Elephant!: Know Your Values and Frame the Debate, written shortly before the 2004 Bush-Kerry presidential elections. In this short volume, Lakoff, a self-described progressive, berates his colleagues over the fact that conservative political elements have effectively captured current political debate through the use of language. Lakoff, a professor of linguistics and cognitive science at the University of California, Berkeley, offers progressives a blueprint on how to regain control of public discourse. And, while this work is focused on the politics of a particular era, the fundamental debate continues to this day, largely unaltered. And, more importantly for me, this work reintroduced me to a style of critical thinking that is remarkably useful in a variety of life settings. And, while I didn’t know it, when I began my re-review, it provided me with an invaluable insight into how to overcome an important obstacle I then was facing. And, it all had to do with framing, metaphor and the use of language. And, interestingly enough, my dilemma had nothing to do with politics. Keep Reading »
Posted on Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Empathy, Happiness, Kindness, Neuroscience, Perception, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Curiosity, Discovery, Elders, Empathy, Happiness, Kindness, Legacy, Neuroscience, Optimism, Perception, Relationship, Transition
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 Barbara Strauch, deputy science editor and health and medical science editor at the New York Times, maintains that middle-aged brains “are surprisingly competent and surprisingly talented.” As humans reach midlife, Strauch argues, their brains begin to reorganized – to act and think differently. In her well researched and highly accessible book, The Secret Life of the Grown-up Brain: The Surprising Talents of the Middle-Aged Mind, Straunch offers a lot of good news. Among other things, scientists have found that moving into middle age generally offers a journey into a happier time, in part because of how you start to use your brain. And, while losses occur by middle-age, they are neither as uniform nor as drastic as science had once feared. There are distinct declines in neurotransmitters that keep you alert and on the move. There are decreases in brain branches, where neurons communicate. And there is the emergence of a default mode – a daydreaming state of quiet and continuous inner chatter - to which your brain increasingly goes as you age – that leaves you a bit more distracted. But, people in middle age begin to use both sides of their brains instead of one - called bilateralization - pursuant to which you learn to recruit the strength of your brain’s remaining prefrontal cortex, as a sort of “cognitive reserve.” Moreover, there is science to support that activities as simple as continuing education or work activities can create a formidable buffer against the effects of aging. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
Tags: Awareness, Body / Mind, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Empathy, Forgiveness, Generosity, Healing, Narrative, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Compassion, Curiosity, Death & Dying, Discovery, Empathy, Forgiveness, Generosity, Healing, Narrative, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
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 Bronnie Ware, author of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, identifies, as the most common regret of all, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Five Regrets. I thought it might be worth our while to drill down this a bit on this regret to see what we can learn.
Now, I must begin with a caveat. In my eight years as a hospice volunteer, I really haven’t heard all that many regrets. I certainly haven’t heard enough of them to accumulate lists, identify patterns, or establish rankings. It may be that so many of our residents have lost cognitive capacity, don’t speak English or, having been “rescued” from the city’s streets or prisons or other horrific my circumstances, that discussion of regrets is either not possible or not a high priority. Most of my conversations with residents concern the here and now – the next meal, pain management, the day’s events pertaining to the individual or family, the evening’s television schedule. Regrets, to the extent that they arise at all, accompany life review conversations, in which residents attempt to find meaning in what has transpired in their lives. You may recall the hospice story that I previously published about Chloe, who in her final hours, attempted to reconcile her desire to be a good mother with the fact that her sons were forcibly removed from her custody due to the extremes of her schizophrenia. Her regret was specific — she had failed in her maternal expectations. But at life’s end, she was able to alter her perception, eliminate her regret, and find redemption in the fact that surrendering her sons was the “best mothering” of which she was capable in light of her mental illness. Keep Reading »
Posted on Wednesday, April 25th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Death, Discovery, Happiness, Healing, Listening, Money, Neuroscience, Perception, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Death & Dying, Discovery, Happiness, Healing, Hope, Legacy, Listening, Money, Neuroscience, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
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 My friend, Frank Yatsu, M.D., died shortly before a 5000 doctors survey conducted by The Doctors Company, the nation’s largest physician and surgeon medical liability insurer, revealed that 9 out of 10 of the country’s physicians are unwilling to recommend the profession to others. Frank, an emeritus UT Professor of Neurology and former Department Chair, and I had intended to write an article for a medical journal career on job dissatisfaction in medicine.Don’t Wait A startling 43% of surveyed physicians further declared that they are contemplating retirement as result of “transformative changes” in health care system, which will only exacerbate the existing physician shortage. That’s is not great news, as the federal Affordable Care Act adds an additional 32 million Americans into the healthcare system by 2014. Keep Reading »
Posted on Thursday, April 19th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, ATONEMENT, Awareness, Balance, Body / Mind, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Death, Discovery, Forgiveness, Generosity, Happiness, Kindness, Listening, Love, Making Amends, Narrative, Perception, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Curiosity, Death & Dying, Discovery, Elders, Forgiveness, Generosity, Happiness, Kindness, Listening, Love, Narrative, Optimism, Perception, Purpose, Relationship
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 I sat with a young colleague the other evening who was bemoaning his fate as he crossed into his mid forties. He couldn’t carouse as he used to. He was losing muscle mass and stamina. His hairline was receding. Some of the early ticks of memory were beginning to show. He wasn’t sure how he could keep up with his youthful expectations at the rate of decline that he was experiencing. He turned to me and asked, “How do you continue to do it at your age?”
I was glad that he asked. This is what I told him:
I can’t tell you what a blessing it is to mature! I get up every morning with gratitude for the fact that I am still here. I love and am loved by my family and a few friends. I am privileged to do work that I love. I am not pursuing anything that is not consistent with my constantly evolving sense of my life’s purpose. I continue to evolve the manner in which I practice law to bring a more refined and subtle integrity to what I do, serving my clients while creating the most abundant outcomes for all parties involved. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, April 17th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Curiosity, Discovery, Empathy, Fear, Happiness, Healing, Listening, Love, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Balance, Change, Coaching, Compassion, Curiosity, Death & Dying, Discovery, Empathy, Fear, Happiness, Healing, Hope, Kindness, Legacy, Listening, Love, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Transition
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 I was forwarded, by one of you, an article from a British newspaper on the forthcoming publication of a book by Bronnie Ware entitled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departed. While I only just have ordered the book, I thought that its themes, as described in The Guardian article, were worthy of discussion now. Ware had served as a palliative care nurse in Australia, caring for patients at the end of their lives. She had collected their end of life observations and written about them at her Inspiration and Chai blog. Much as I have observed, Ware began to see common themes and extraordinary wisdom that seems to blossom in people as their lives draw to a close. Interestingly, Ware heard about “regrets,” a topic not as common to me in my work. But she recorded the end of life epiphanies as a lesson plan for the living and moved from blogging into authoring her book. Keep Reading »
Posted on Thursday, April 12th, 2012
Tags: Appreciation, Change, Death, Empathy, Generosity, Happiness, Healing, Listening, Perception, Purpose, Relationship, Rest, Trust
Categories: Awareness, Change, Communicating, Compassion, Death & Dying, Generosity, Happiness, Healing, Kindness, Legacy, Listening, Love, Perception, Relationship, Transition
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“Don’t Wait” is the fifth and final of the Five Precepts of Hospice Care developed by the Zen Hospice Project, which directs our hospice volunteer activities at San Francisco’s Laguna Honda Hospital. I only had recently written about the Five Precepts, explaining as to the fifth, “You only have this moment in which to be of service. If you are aware and attentive, you will do your best. If you wait, the moment will pass and you only will have regret. And, while your are regretting, another moment will pass. Now is the only time for caring, for serving, for doing your best.” I didn’t realize how quickly I was about to again encounter the poignancy of that precept.
 I had met Frank Yatsu at a dinner honoring Louise Renne, the former San Francisco City Attorney, for her efforts in bringing about the construction of the new Laguna Honda Hospital which had only recently opened its doors. I serve with Louise on the Laguna Honda Foundation Board which raises funds to supplement hospital services and programs. Frank was a longtime friend of Louise. The event, held in a delightful, small restaurant along San Francisco’s northern waterfront began with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres and was followed by one of those sumptuous San Francisco cuisine meals. I don’t believe that I had met Frank before the dinner. And we did not sit at the same table during dinner. But as dinner began to wind down, there began a series of short testimonials, honoring Louise for her work in handling the various legal issues that threatened to close the old hospital, the efforts to secure funds for the new hospital, and her continuous leadership in preventing this monumental project from being sidetracked by the myriad of “only in San Francisco” regulatory and political snares. Following the planned remarks of several speakers, the evening’s emcee and Louise’ husband, Paul Renne, asked if anyone had anything else to add. I volunteered with remarks directed toward the remarkable people who served the largely indigent San Francisco population resident at the hospital as well as that population itself. Keep Reading »
Posted on Tuesday, April 10th, 2012
Tags: Awareness, Change, Coaching, Empathy, Happiness, Listening, Perception, Relationship, Silence, Transition
Categories: Awareness, Body/Mind, Change, Coaching, Communicating, Compassion, Discovery, Empathy, Listening, Relationship, Transition
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 An early February article in the Wall Street Journal described the practice for daily meeting attendance at Atomic Object, a Grand Rapids Michigan software development firm. The early-morning daily meetings are subject to a few strict rules: mandatory attendance; minimum chit chat; and everyone has to stand. Sitting is equated with sloth. There is no room for long-windedness. Tables even have been removed to prevent “leaning.” The meetings generally last about 5 minutes, followed by a quick stretch, then everyone is “off to work.” While standup meetings are nothing new (military leaders did it during World War I and various companies have adopted standup meetings over the years), the current inspiration is being attributed to the growing use of “Agile,” an approach to software development, which according to the Journal was “crystallized in a manifesto published by 17 software professionals in 2001.” It calls for compressing the development projects into short pieces and involves daily standup meetings where participants quickly update their peers on three things: what they have done since yesterday; what they will do today; and any obstacles that stand in their way. Keep Reading »
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